How to stop beating yourself up…if only I had a way to make that happen

Sun rays shine through the broken window blinds, cascading micro dust particles throughout the air. But do I notice? Or am I too busy hurrying a child out the door? When my children look back on their life will the words, never softly spoken, “hurry up, we are late” be the echoes that resound in their heads?

And when I go to bed at night, do I ever allow myself to say “good job, Jessica” you made a difference in your child’s life today? Or do I tell myself yet again where I failed. Remind myself again of all the things I didn’t do. Beat myself up, yet again?

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If you were to criticize your friends and your husband as much as you criticize yourself, you probably wouldn’t have friends or a husband. So if we are nice and encouraging to others, why don’t we apply the golden rule to how we treat ourselves?

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Why is it, as women, we focus on all those should have beens, all those I didn’t do’s?

Whether you have 6 children or none. Whether you are a working in an office mama or a patience stretched to the max homebound mama, aren’t you doing your very best for your children?

At the end of the day we all stretch the elasticity of ourselves as thin as the thinnest pizza dough to make every sacrifice we can that will benefit our children.

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We give our time, our money, our energy, our patience…every resource we have…if it will in some way make our children’s lives better. So why don’t we pat ourselves on the back? Call a time out?

Or even better, say game over?

Perhaps tonight when you sink into that worn mattress between sheets filled with sand and dirt smudges because you just didn’t have the heart to tell your child to stop jumping on the bed…what if in that moment you told yourself “Good Job”? Reminded yourself of all you DID do…
Today, I gave a hug. Today, I smiled at my child. Today, I bent down on one knee to look at that grubby frog in those muddy hands. Today, I overlooked the dirt in my son’s fingernails that will never go away as every single day he says so filled with childlife truth “I forgot I wasn’t suppose to use my hands as diggers”.

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Wouldn’t it be so nice if I had a magic formula that would tell you how to make this happen? Drink this can of 10 calorie sugar water and you will be soooo nice to yourself. But you know what, I don’t have a magic fairy wand to wave and make myself be nicer to myself.

But I, and you, do have the ability to be intentional.

To ask God in prayer to help me be nicer to myself.

To acknowledge and let seep into your pores, into your hearts deepest darkest corner the resounding fact that God loves you just as you are. He delights in You! He sees you and He doesn’t see all your mistakes, all your should have done’s. He see’s you and He smiles exhuberantly thinking…How precious are you to me, my child!

Tonight when you lay your head down on your pillow, may you pray for God to help you see yourself through His lenses. A beautiful strong woman, an amazing ever giving mama, a compassionate wife…a child of the King.

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  1. What a great post Jessica! I hope every guilt-ridden Mom will read this. Yes, we can be so hard on ourselves and yet God looks at us as His be-loved. Thanks for sharing this:)
    Ps- I would love to reference this on my blog. Is that ok?

    • Hi Joanne,
      Thank you for your encouragement! I definitely struggle with guilt of all I haven’t done and it is a daily battle of reminding myself of how God truly sees me.
      I would be humbled if you shared on your blog. Will you just link anything you post back to thelocalgoodness.com? Thanks Joanne!

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