Archives for January 2016

01-22-2016

Resolutions: Two Easy Steps to Help You Stop Overthinking and Analyzing Every.Single.Decision

If 2015 was the year of Be Still This Brain of Mine, I failed miserably.

When I began last year, all I wanted was to hush the analyzing chatter in my brain that is never more than a whisper’s breath away at any given moment.

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Last week, after a year of attempting to get outside my head, a light bulb moment occurred. I realized I simply need to stop thinking. Wow, I’m sure you are really impressed with my aahha moment, aren’t you?

But really, if you think about it, in order to stop analyzing – you have to be intentional in stopping your mind from constantly over thinking. It’s up to me whether I choose quietness or settle for over processing.

When I think about things constantly, there is no white space in my mind for blankness.
No time to be aware of all the goodness around me.

I desperately need white space so I can live presently in the moment I am in.

And that’s when I realized.
This constant over analyzing robs me of living presently in the moment.

And this present living is a gift.

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When I spend all my time fretting over the future or replaying frustrating moments in the past, I am not living in the moment. I’m not enjoying time with my children, I’m not engaged with my husband, and I’m not doing the job God’s given me to the best of my ability.

Sometimes that job might sound fun like playing on the floor with my kids but most often it’s the mundane that He wants me to be in the present moment of…the washing of dishes or when I’m wiping pee up off a bathroom floor.

When I stop analyzing about being a freelance writer while washing dishes and instead simply wash dishes, and look out at my surroundings – I see a beautiful cloud formation with beams of sunlight streaming through.

When I stop pondering how I’ll be able to accomplish my to-do list today, and instead focus on the task in front of me, I have infinite more patience to bend down and tie a shoe lace.

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I want to experience the joy of the present. And I want my kids to remember a mom who lived in the moment.

My friend Lindsay lost her mom recently and she says she misses most simply not having her mom around. It’s not the loss of words she spoke {though that’d be nice to have} or not having a mom around to help with kids. It’s simply the loss of not having her mom right here with her {whether in person or through a phone line} that makes her heart ache the most.

Isn’t it true that the greatest gift anyone can give you is the gift of their presence?
The gift of their living in the present moment with you.

But I can’t do that when I am stuck in this head of mine.

My resolution is nothing earth shattering and seems so simple on the outside. But if you’re anything like me, it will take constant awareness and intent to live in the current moment.

To start with, I’m trying to simply tackle the to-do list in front of me. Staying focused on the immediate not the future. {Step #1}

To not begin worrying and fretting over every concern I can create in this brain of mine. I’m tossing out the …”what should I be doing with my life” and trading it in for “focus on what is right in front of you”. I’m gonna stop obsessing over “which school to send my kid to in 5 years” and instead “focus on the homework and spelling words they need my help with at this very moment”.

To help ease my mind into this new approach, I am giving myself permission to worry and fret all I want from 8-9am every morning. {Step #2} If it isn’t that time of day, I simply remind myself that I can analyze over it the next morning. But after that allotted hour, I bank my concerns until the next day, and move on with what I truly need to be doing.

I learned this technique a few years ago during therapy and it saved me from the crazy thoughts going through my head at the time. Did you know, it is common, after losing someone to suicide that you begin to worry that you might commit suicide? Not because you want to – but because so many people say perhaps it was just an accident and you read that mental illness can suddenly become onset –  and you then wonder if one day you’ll wake up with mental illness and accidentally commit suicide too.

I couldn’t stop myself from worrying over this happening to me to. My therapist recommended that I compartmentalize my thoughts and for me, it really worked.

So I set aside time every day to worry. But more often than not, when 8am rolls around I’m busy getting my day started and I don’t even have the desire to fret and analyze.

So my hope for this year is to live presently in this moment, not worrying about the big picture.

When we live in the present we gift ourselves with the beauty found in our circumstances and the people right in front of us.  

jessica

 

 

 

Loving my kids at this moment.

01-11-2016

Why you should NEVER attempt a new recipe at Christmas

I hope that you & yours had a sweet celebration of Christmas and New Year’s.

Even though I enjoy the season of Christmas I always find myself gleeful come January, when it’s time to put away all those Christmas trappings. I’m a bit of a minimalist and limit how much decor we put up each December, but it still seems to take over the house. I am secretly thrilled when everything is boxed back up for another 11 months.

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This Christmas & New Year’s season I learned a vital lesson, that I’m really hoping I will remember in future years…

Don’t attempt a recipe for the first time at Christmas {or Thanksgiving or New Year’s}

Why is it, that we put all this pressure on ourselves {or maybe you are smarter than me and don’t do this to yourself!} to have an immaculately decorated house, perfectly selected gifts, and oh yes, amazing meals each time you find yourself at the table between December 24 & 25.

I could go on & on about my food failures over the last 4 weeks.

It all started when my husband came in from hunting the morning of Christmas Eve, took one look at my face and said “Did one of your recipes not work out?”

I lied.
I said, no, it’s all good.

In reality, the yet another failed attempt at gluten free cinnamon buns were already in the trash.
I should just give up trying to make them.
Every year I tell myself This Is The Year.
But really, I don’t think GOOD GF cinnamon buns exist.

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Then there were the gluten free pigs n’ a blanket I was planning for Christmas Eve.
I had already talked myself into being okay with barely edible gluten free crescent rolls.
I just needed GF lil’ sausages.
Unfortunately, I didn’t realize until Christmas Eve that only Wal-Mart carries them.
At least I made the wise decision to not go to Wal-Mart the day before Christmas.

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Then there were the the scalloped potatoes my husband requested for our Christmas lunch.
That couldn’t be too difficult, could it??
Well, when you don’t read the whole recipe until 30 minutes before Christmas lunch, you realize too late it will take an hour and a half to get them on the table.
And at that point, you are simply done. Mashed potatoes will do just fine.

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But the real cooking failure was…

The Christmas Ham literally tasted like mush.

Serious.
I’m actually not being dramatic at all!

And if I had just read the recipe well beforehand, I would have realized one major hiccup.

The recipe was for an UNCOOKED ham.
Uncooked requires quite a different recipe than a Cooked Ham.
Mostly, that an already cooked ham only needs heated up.
Nope, not thinking here on my part.

So what did I do??? Followed that recipe to the T!

Marinated that COOKED ham for 8 hours in pineapple juice {which breaks down the fibers in UNCOOKED ham} then I preceded to cook the COOKED ham for 2 hours.

Once again, it literally tasted like MUSH!

It was so bad, that my father in law drove back to their house to get their Christmas Eve ham leftovers.

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And yes, I know I may tend a bit towards the dramatic.
No one else cares that they didn’t have homemade cinnamon buns or had to eat mashed potatoes or eat leftover ham. But me, I care.

So next year, I’m going to go the route my friends suggests….
doughnuts {not homemade!!} and coffee for Christmas breakfast and a grocery store catered dinner.

But if you happen to have a cinnamon bun recipe that is GF, I’d love to have it.
Because as much as I’d like to say I won’t ever attempt them again, I’m simply a gluten for punishment.

I hope your cooking adventures fared much better than mine!

Happy New Year’s,

jessica