Confession of a People Pleasing Lady

{Whew…I’m getting pretty humble up in here today…sharing my flaws with ya’ll.}

I wish it weren’t so, but sometimes when I serve others, I consider how great it’s going to make me look.

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It’s not intentional, I never consciously aim to do that.

But a few years ago, upon some deep reflection, I realized I often want people to know all the ways I serve others.

Yeah, that’s me… this approval seeking, people pleasing lady.

Blame it on the middle child syndrome, but all I want is for other people to like me.

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And you know what, they probably do already…so why am I going out of my way to blatantly seek it?
And if they don’t, then who cares???

I remember Anah who sat beside me for years.
Us young twenty year olds, crammed into a much too small cubicle, making way too many cold calls.

One day she shared how each evening she made her husband an amazing sandwich when he got off work.
The sandwich sounded like a creation worthy of Dagworth’s fame in Blondie.

The awe inspiring part of her story was that Anah made the sandwich as an act of true love.

You could just tell. It wasn’t for her husband’s praise. She didn’t tell me so I would think she was a great wife.

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We just happened to be talking about her husband having to work late and as a consequence he didn’t really eat dinner. Thus, she made him something really special every evening. I’ll never forget the smile on her face when she talked about making it. She delighted in doing such a mundane task and filling that work with an abundance of joy.

Her serving was simply an outpouring of the love she had towards her husband.

When we serve others with a gracious heart we aren’t focused on the accolades or the recognition. I’m reminded in Anah’s story that a serving heart is most often found in the mundane, in the small tasks we do every single day that never receive a thank you or praise.

And I pray, that as I grow older and wiser, my heart will be more content to serve without being seen.



{Day 22 of the #write31days challenge. I’m writing all about A Servant’s Heart, the series list can be found here.}


What is a Servant’s Heart?

{Day 3 of the 31 Days to a Servant’s Heart series. Click here to see all series posts.}

Whispered worriedly in my ear are the words of a precocious little one “Mama, I’m sorry I used up all your dental floss, but I just had to make the Orb’s golden silk spider web”.

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The cords of floss thread in and out of every crevice in his room, making a spider web for this animal loving boy of mine.

It doesn’t matter how simple the task of navigating the spider web seems, I can’t do it without getting tripped up in the floss. And I’m reminded of just how often I get tripped up in this whole serving others thing.

I set out to serve with a gracious heart but instead I get so caught up in keeping track of all ‘my good’ that any love I started out with is gone before I’ve done more than just think about serving someone else.

So what is a servant’s heart and why in the world does it even matter?

A servant’s heart is bent towards gratitude that they are able to serve instead of resentment that they have to serve.

It’s all about perspective, isn’t it?

So easy to grumble that my kids are legions beyond stir crazy as another 24 hours of flooding rain continues here. But when my perspective changes, I find myself thankful I have a roof over our head, no floodwaters are entering the safety of our home, and my kids are healthy & thriving based on the high decimal level echoing through the house.

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Perspective changes my heart from…

…I HAVE to make dinner yet again to I GET to provide a healthy nutritious meal for my family

…I HAVE to fold the never ending pile of laundry to I GET to provide a clean house for us to find rest in

…I HAVE to wash those dishes, bathe those kids, the list could go on & on….

But there is always time to take a step back and retrain my thought process to focus instead on the positive and the blessings I DO have in my life.

So that’s what I’m working towards this month.

Working to change the whispers in my heart from
I have to
I get to.



{Written as part of the #write31days challenge. My entire series 31 Days to a Servant’s Heart can be found here.}