08-26-2014

Our First Day of School

We made it! No sobbing from mom! And only a little choked up once I got back to the car!

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It’s amazing how cathartic and therapeutic it is to write down how you feel. After last night’s foray into sadness & tears of how quickly the last four years have passed, I felt SO much better. And thank you for your encouragement after I shared how sad I was to see my girl growing up. Now I’m glad I got my emotions out early, because this morning I was freed up to be super happy and excited for her.

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So now I’ve got an empty house. And it’s SO QUITE ya’ll! Such an amazing sound! The sound of nothing. I can actually hear myself think! WOW!!!

For some reason though, I don’t really see myself staying at home today to enjoy this new solitude. I’m sure Jared would appreciate if I cleaned up this messy house a tad but I’m thinking I’ll go to a coffee shop instead, just to sit and think. That is one thing I have not been able to do much of in the last four years!

Enjoy your day! I’m pretty sure I will!

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08-25-2014

The last four years…

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I’m staying up late tonight, hoping that with each drawn out breath, time will magically suspend itself. My baby girl goes to ‘real’ school tomorrow. And even though I thought I’d be super excited to have the house to myself, I am now wishing I had just one more day with her & I at home. I’m sad. I’ve already shed a few tears. And, I haven’t even made it to the day of drop-off!

When I went to Target tonight for one last sippy cup & the just right snack holder, it hit me that in the future it will be rare that I will need to use those cumbersome non-turning excessively heavy buggies made for moms like me. You know, the ones that fit two kids in the front and still leave you an entire buggy’s worth of space to add all those non-essential items that certainly seem beyond essential when surrounded by bright lights, red signs, and oh yes…screaming melting down children. One would think I’d be excited that the chances are slim I will need to haul two children with me to a store again. But no, that thought process actually made me tear up!

Whew, I can’t imagine what tomorrow morning’s gonna look like! I’m going back & forth between imagining me sobbing as I walk down the never ending hallway OR perhaps the principal will be dragging me down that hallway. Cause I’m not really sure I’m ready to leave little Miss Stella behind.

But Miss Stella, oh, she’s ready to move on. Every single morning she asks if today is THE DAY she gets to go to school. And tonight her last words before her head hit the pillow were “So tomorrow’s the day, right, Mom? Tomorrow I get to go to school?” I wish I could intonate her tone in that question. It’s so full of FINALLY, MOM, FINALLY I get to go to school with my big brother! I am finally a BIG kid!!

So this summer I tried to treasure every single precious second we spent together. Granted, there were moments I felt my patience wearing thin but overall it was a delightfully slow summer. It was about playing legos, impromptu trips to the beach, racing doll strollers down the hallway, trying to convince Mom that this time the lizard really wouldn’t die if we left him in a sealed up jar in the 100° heat. Hmmm, as of tonight, I am still not convinced that lizards can somehow live in a virtual oven!

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Unfortunately, time does not stop & the clock continues to tick-tock, tock-tick.

I’ll let you know how drop-off goes!

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08-19-2013

The Beginning of the End

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I like to categorize my kid’s lives into 4 distinct phases.

Phase I: Birth to PreSchool
Phase 2: Kindergarten to High School Graduation
Phase 3: College to Wedding Day
Phase 4: Being Married

In less than 48 hours, my son will enter kindergarten and don’t get me wrong…I am beyond EXCITED for this new journey. But I can’t get past the feeling that this is it. Everything he has to know in order to be a responsible, independent, caring, and fun adult has to be learned in the next 13 years. So to say I am stressed out is more than an understatement.

But the things I am stressed about, I am pretty sure no one else is even thinking about…

There’s his shorts…do you know how difficult it is to find shorts for boys??? It is SO hard to find shorts that are elastic waist (we haven’t conquered buttons yet) and actually fit well. For whatever reason, I am convinced that if his shorts come down in the back and show his underwear or heaven forbid, a little crack, then he’s going to be made fun of in school.

Then, there’s all these back to school eve dinners that my friends have. Really??? You’re making me feel kind of lame right now…I can’t get that organized!! Not only do they decorate the table beautifully and make a yummy meal, but they also pick a Bible verse as a theme for the school year. How do they possibly pick just 1 verse to cover everything? And when am I suppose to sit down with my husband and find out what he thinks are good lessons for them? And then, how do they get their kids to sit still at dinner, because at my house it’s more like two banchee indians running wild around the table. (And if you are hosting a back to school eve dinner, my hats go off to you. You really do inspire me!)

And then I’m stressed about all this stuff he has to take to kindergarten. For example, when is the best day to take the stuff…the first day, at the meet the teacher meeting, some other day? And what about those red & green folders I searched all over for, just so he could bring home paperwork in folders that are his favorite colors. Do they just take all the items and put them in a closet? Because, if he takes the whole bounty of items to school in a paper bag (our current plan) then does that mean he may end up with folders not in his favorite color. (I know, I know…just typing this out makes me realize how hysterical I sound!!) But really, why can’t they include instructions such as…In his book bag, please include the following items. In a separate grocery bag, please include the other items. And please bring all items in at the meet the teacher meeting. Those detailed instructions would be much preferred by moi.

So my current plan for these next 48 hours is to spend a lot of time in prayer, I obviously need it.  I’ve got to get over my fears of him being made fun of, have confidence that, special dinner or not, my husband and I will help guide him as he navigates this new journey, and to be able to just let go of all these trivial concerns and instead enjoy these last few days of simple childhood.

I’m hoping you are much less stressed about kindergarten and school than me!!

Jess

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