10-22-2014

How to stop beating yourself up…if only I had a way to make that happen

Sun rays shine through the broken window blinds, cascading micro dust particles throughout the air. But do I notice? Or am I too busy hurrying a child out the door? When my children look back on their life will the words, never softly spoken, “hurry up, we are late” be the echoes that resound in their heads?

And when I go to bed at night, do I ever allow myself to say “good job, Jessica” you made a difference in your child’s life today? Or do I tell myself yet again where I failed. Remind myself again of all the things I didn’t do. Beat myself up, yet again?

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If you were to criticize your friends and your husband as much as you criticize yourself, you probably wouldn’t have friends or a husband. So if we are nice and encouraging to others, why don’t we apply the golden rule to how we treat ourselves?

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Why is it, as women, we focus on all those should have beens, all those I didn’t do’s?

Whether you have 6 children or none. Whether you are a working in an office mama or a patience stretched to the max homebound mama, aren’t you doing your very best for your children?

At the end of the day we all stretch the elasticity of ourselves as thin as the thinnest pizza dough to make every sacrifice we can that will benefit our children.

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We give our time, our money, our energy, our patience…every resource we have…if it will in some way make our children’s lives better. So why don’t we pat ourselves on the back? Call a time out?

Or even better, say game over?

Perhaps tonight when you sink into that worn mattress between sheets filled with sand and dirt smudges because you just didn’t have the heart to tell your child to stop jumping on the bed…what if in that moment you told yourself “Good Job”? Reminded yourself of all you DID do…
Today, I gave a hug. Today, I smiled at my child. Today, I bent down on one knee to look at that grubby frog in those muddy hands. Today, I overlooked the dirt in my son’s fingernails that will never go away as every single day he says so filled with childlife truth “I forgot I wasn’t suppose to use my hands as diggers”.

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Wouldn’t it be so nice if I had a magic formula that would tell you how to make this happen? Drink this can of 10 calorie sugar water and you will be soooo nice to yourself. But you know what, I don’t have a magic fairy wand to wave and make myself be nicer to myself.

But I, and you, do have the ability to be intentional.

To ask God in prayer to help me be nicer to myself.

To acknowledge and let seep into your pores, into your hearts deepest darkest corner the resounding fact that God loves you just as you are. He delights in You! He sees you and He doesn’t see all your mistakes, all your should have done’s. He see’s you and He smiles exhuberantly thinking…How precious are you to me, my child!

Tonight when you lay your head down on your pillow, may you pray for God to help you see yourself through His lenses. A beautiful strong woman, an amazing ever giving mama, a compassionate wife…a child of the King.

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10-09-2014

Swiss Chard, Quinoa, and Mushroom Stuffed Acorn Squash

While summer will always be my most favorite season of the year {I live at the beach ya’ll! And I love boating!} I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’m really enjoying this cooler weather, the crisp air, and the slight chill & nip you get when you open your screen door each morning. With time spent at the beach on hiatus for now, we’ve had more time for in-shore fishing, walks in the woods, football games, apple festivals, and soups & chowders… Yep, definitely a lot to savor and treasure!

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When my good friend Lindsey introduced me to stuffed acorn squash last year I was all about it. The recipe she used features flavorful Italian sausage, which I loved. However, after my mother in law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer this year, I’ve turned into a bit of a pretty big health nut. Gone are the days of making cookies twice a week and devouring sausage for breakfast. My diet now looks more like this…green smoothies for breakfast, salad ‘bowl’ creations for lunch, and meat primarily only being served for dinner. And since the idea of a stuffed acorn squash wasn’t manly enough for Jared’s dinner, I decided to turn this stuffed squash into a vegetarian delight. I’m pretty excited with the results!

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Swiss chard is most definitely my favorite leafy green vegetable. It has such a unique flavor and I love the crunch that the end pieces provide. Plus, if you buy rainbow swiss chard {or grow your own, even better!} you get such beautiful variations of color. But swiss chard isn’t just around for asthetic purposes, it provides a lot of nutrients & vitamins…Vitamins A, C, & K as well as being a great source of potassium, iron, and magnesium. {And did you know, your body absorbs vitamins more easily from the foods you eat than the vitamin pills you take.}

Quinoa is of course everyone’s newest favorite ingredient and I love making a quinoa pilaf over the weekend so that I can throw a little bit of quinoa into different dishes as the week progresses. Quinoa is a great source of protein, fiber, and manganese {did you know that manganese was even a word?}. Mushrooms & the acorn squash aren’t idly standing by either. Mushrooms provide selenium, niacin, and copper {once again, this post is really teaching you some words you’ve forgotten since Chemistry 101!} and acorn squash provides many of the above nutrients as well as Omega-3′s and beta-carotene.

So with all that being said, this is a healthy & delicious meal!

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Swiss Chard, Quinoa, and Mushroom Stuffed Acorn Squash

Ingredients

  • 1 acorn squash, roasted/cooked
  • 8oz baby bella mushrooms
  • 2 cups swiss chard, roughly chopped
  • 1 cup cooked quinoa
  • 2 scallion/green onions, roughly chopped
  • 1/2 cup dried cranberries
  • 1/4 tsp ground coriander
  • 1/4 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/4 tsp paprika
  • kosher salt & fresh ground black pepper

Instructions

  1. Using a medium saucepan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add mushrooms and 1/2 tsp of kosher salt and a few grinds of black pepper. Saute mushrooms, stirring occasionally, for 5 to 7 minutes until softened and browned. Add swiss chard, quinoa, onions, cranberries, and spices. Sprinkle just a bit more salt and pepper on as well. Cook for an additional 2 minutes, just until swiss chard has begun to wilt. {Take a bite to check/alter spices as needed.}
  2. Divide mixture evenly between the two acorn squash halves. Top each serving with nuts & cheese as desired.
  3. I used goat cheese yogurt as a topping.

Enjoy!

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10-06-2014

When you want to serve the multitude but Christ calls you to serve ‘just one’

How many whispers have been breathed in the exhale of shattered moments…God, take me to Uganda, take me to Guatemala, take me to the dumps, take me to the kids crying out in emotional refuge.

Take me anywhere God, anywhere but here.

Why is it so much easier to serve God in the limelight, in the excitement of international missions, in the homeless shelter, than to serve Him where He calls us to serve Him most?

In. Our. Homes.

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Why is it easier for me to wash the feet of a crippled stranger than to kneel down, yet again, to tie the shoe of a straggling out the door late six year old. To control my tongue in a fit of rage and frustration when a disagreement with my husband is not going my way. To not give in to the old age saying of “I grew up this way, so I can’t change”.

It’s so much easier to whoop down and save the day, make the headlines through mission trips, organized church drives, and feeding the homeless. It’s so much harder to battle the trenches day in and day out. But what does Christ say matters most…

…Love each other in the same way I have loved you. John 15:12

To endlessly share HIS love with others. Not my version of love which contains an unfortunate amount of temper tantrums and ‘ughs’ erupted loudly. (And sadly, those aren’t expressions of my four year old…those are the expressions of this thirty six year old’s imperfections). HIS love doesn’t keep track of how many times you’ve washed that orange skillet, how many loads of clothes you’ve folded just this week alone, or how many meals your hands have crafted. HIS love doesn’t keep score. HIS love keeps giving, continues on amist the chaos that being in a family is guaranteed to bring.

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It doesn’t matter how many Sunday School classes I’ve taught, how many Bible studies I attend, or if I never make it overseas to hug a smiling little Uganda boy.

What matters is that no matter where I am, I should exemplify CHARºIºTY: THE ACT OF GIVING.

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I want to share HIS love on glorified battlefields but that isn’t where He is calling me. He’s calling me to remember what a wise teacher once said…charity begins at home.

It’s easier to minister to strangers because we have no emotional ties to them. When they reject God, we don’t take it personal. But when our own loved owns push God away, that is harder to watch. But maybe that’s what we need. Because then, it’s Christ’s peace that helps us respond in kindness. Whereas, if we only responded out of our imperfect selves, we probably wouldn’t be able to show as much gentleness or compassion as is needed.  Or when a child says time after time how they don’t want to go to church, it’s Christ’s patience that shines through to help provide an encouraging and uplifting response.

Perhaps God changes us more, grows our faith more, when we allow HIM to place us where He wants us to serve.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts.” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” Isaiah 55:8

 So…whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31

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08-26-2014

Our First Day of School

We made it! No sobbing from mom! And only a little choked up once I got back to the car!

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It’s amazing how cathartic and therapeutic it is to write down how you feel. After last night’s foray into sadness & tears of how quickly the last four years have passed, I felt SO much better. And thank you for your encouragement after I shared how sad I was to see my girl growing up. Now I’m glad I got my emotions out early, because this morning I was freed up to be super happy and excited for her.

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So now I’ve got an empty house. And it’s SO QUITE ya’ll! Such an amazing sound! The sound of nothing. I can actually hear myself think! WOW!!!

For some reason though, I don’t really see myself staying at home today to enjoy this new solitude. I’m sure Jared would appreciate if I cleaned up this messy house a tad but I’m thinking I’ll go to a coffee shop instead, just to sit and think. That is one thing I have not been able to do much of in the last four years!

Enjoy your day! I’m pretty sure I will!

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08-25-2014

The last four years…

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I’m staying up late tonight, hoping that with each drawn out breath, time will magically suspend itself. My baby girl goes to ‘real’ school tomorrow. And even though I thought I’d be super excited to have the house to myself, I am now wishing I had just one more day with her & I at home. I’m sad. I’ve already shed a few tears. And, I haven’t even made it to the day of drop-off!

When I went to Target tonight for one last sippy cup & the just right snack holder, it hit me that in the future it will be rare that I will need to use those cumbersome non-turning excessively heavy buggies made for moms like me. You know, the ones that fit two kids in the front and still leave you an entire buggy’s worth of space to add all those non-essential items that certainly seem beyond essential when surrounded by bright lights, red signs, and oh yes…screaming melting down children. One would think I’d be excited that the chances are slim I will need to haul two children with me to a store again. But no, that thought process actually made me tear up!

Whew, I can’t imagine what tomorrow morning’s gonna look like! I’m going back & forth between imagining me sobbing as I walk down the never ending hallway OR perhaps the principal will be dragging me down that hallway. Cause I’m not really sure I’m ready to leave little Miss Stella behind.

But Miss Stella, oh, she’s ready to move on. Every single morning she asks if today is THE DAY she gets to go to school. And tonight her last words before her head hit the pillow were “So tomorrow’s the day, right, Mom? Tomorrow I get to go to school?” I wish I could intonate her tone in that question. It’s so full of FINALLY, MOM, FINALLY I get to go to school with my big brother! I am finally a BIG kid!!

So this summer I tried to treasure every single precious second we spent together. Granted, there were moments I felt my patience wearing thin but overall it was a delightfully slow summer. It was about playing legos, impromptu trips to the beach, racing doll strollers down the hallway, trying to convince Mom that this time the lizard really wouldn’t die if we left him in a sealed up jar in the 100° heat. Hmmm, as of tonight, I am still not convinced that lizards can somehow live in a virtual oven!

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Unfortunately, time does not stop & the clock continues to tick-tock, tock-tick.

I’ll let you know how drop-off goes!

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07-29-2014

Fluffy Light Spelt Biscuits

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I wonder what it was like when the 49′ers struck gold…did they do air kicks while shrieking out “Eureka”? Because that’s what I did when I took my first bite of these delicious biscuits. They are that scrumptious!

Baking with spelt can be tricky. Sometimes it leads to hocky puck dense biscuits or the opposite end of the spectrum…cookies that  spread all over the baking sheet. But these turned out pretty close to perfect and I think a lot of that has to do with keeping the butter properly chilled and using the correct techniques to ensure as much steam as possible gets trapped inside the baking biscuits.

I’m pretty sure that my grandma’s would agree with me that making biscuits is an art form and these tips & tricks below will help you get it just right so you can do your own air kicks!

Enjoy ~

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Tips & Tricks

The chilled, almost frozen, butter leads to more steam being produced in the baking process which leads to more tender & fluffy biscuits. And folding the biscuits like a letter is what produces lots of different layers in your biscuits. Also, if you twist the cutter instead of going straight down your biscuits will not rise very well. And placing the biscuits so close together traps more steam as well.

Fluffy Light Spelt Biscuits

Prep Time: 35 minutes

Cook Time: 12 minutes

Total Time: 47 minutes

Yield: 6-8 biscuits

Ingredients

  • 2 cups white spelt flour (VitaSpelt recommended)
  • 1 TBSP baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
  • 6 tbsp chilled butter
  • 1/2 - 2/3 cup milk

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or silpat liner.
  2. Take chilled butter out of fridge and with a paring knife, cube into 1/2" pieces. Place cubed butter into freezer for at least 5 to 10 minutes.
  3. In a large bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Using a fork or pastry blender cut the butter cubes into the flour until it resembles coarse crumbs. Place bowl into the freezer and allow the flour & butter mixture to chill thoroughly for 15 minutes.
  4. Using a wooden spoon, mix the milk into the chilled flour, starting with just 1/2 cup of the milk. Stir gradually until the flour begins to pull together and dough is completely sticky, adding additional tablespoons of milk as needed. I used a full 2/3 cup of milk but it is always best to start with less milk and add more as you go.
  5. Sprinkle a generous amount of flour onto a pastry mat or wooden surface. Place dough onto floured surface and then sprinkle another generous amount all over the top of the dough. Using the palm of your hand, pat out the dough until it is approximately a 1" thick rectangle/letter shape.
  6. As you work with the dough, don't be afraid to sprinkle extra flour on top and sides as needed. You don't want to dry out the dough but at the same time, you don't want it so sticky that it sticks to your hand.
  7. Now fold the rectangular dough up the same way you would a letter. So the bottom third up onto the middle, then fold the top dough onto the middle portion. Pat down again to a 1" thick rectangle/letter shape. Repeat the fold process one more time. Pat the dough down to a final 1" thickness.
  8. Using a 3" round biscuit cutter, press biscuit cutter straight down without twisting it. Place biscuits directly onto the lined baking sheet, spacing only 1/2" apart.
  9. Bake for approximately 12 minutes, rotating halfway through, until golden brown.

 

 

07-08-2014

Brownie Ice Cream Pie

Ever made brownies that were just a tad crumbly or have more cookies on hand than you should could eat? Or, ever purchased way too much ice cream for the 4th because of that buy one get one sale?

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Well here, my friends, is the solution!

This was inspired by a much cleaner, more holistic Dessert Pizza by Angela at Oh She Glows. My version is definitely not clean eating or refined sugar free or any vegan thingamadoey. One day I do hope to try out Angela’s Dessert Pizza but yesterday I needed to use up some brownies and the over indulging ice cream that wouldn’t stop enticing me. It didn’t hurt that it was also Jared’s birthday and I was able to make a birthday dessert for him with ingredients I already had on hand.

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Ingredients
1 batch of already made brownies or chocolate chip cookies
1 pint chocolate ice cream, slightly chilled (not frozen)
1 pint vanilla ice cream, slightly chilled (not frozen)
1 batch Peanut Butter Shell Drizzle (from Oh She Glows)
1 batch Chocolate Ice Cream Shell
coconut oil

Recipe
Using a teaspoon of coconut oil, lightly grease the bottom & sides of a springform pan.

Crumble brownies or cookies onto bottom of springform pan. Using your palms, press the mixture down firmly and spread to sides of pan.

In a glass bowl, stir together the chocolate and vanilla ice creams until swirled together. Pour ice cream mixture onto the top of the brownie crust. Place ice cream pie into freezer and allow to freeze for 10-15 minutes.

Make one batch each of the peanut butter drizzle and chocolate ice cream shell. Place the peanut butter drizzle into a plastic zipper top bag and snip the corner. (This makes for easier drizzling! The chocolate syrup can easily be drizzled with a fork.)

Alternating between the peanut butter and chocolate toppings, drizzle each sweet concoction onto the top of the ice cream pie. Once all the toppings have been used up, place the pie back into freezer for at least 4 hours for everything to set nicely up.

Scrumptious!

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Enjoy ~

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07-03-2014

Heirloom Cherry Tomato and Mozzarella Skewers with Balsamic Vinegar

Looking for a quick & easy appetizer for the 4th of July? This tasty hor d’oeuvre is so simple to put together that I feel silly even typing up a recipe. But hopefully these tips & tricks will make this dish sublime!

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Ingredients
2 pints heirloom cherry tomatoes (a mix of different hues if possible)
1 lb of fresh mozzarella balls
extra virgin olive oil
balsamic vinegar
kosher or sea salt
fresh ground black pepper
fresh basil leaves (optional)

Recipe Tips & Tricks

Slice cherry tomatoes in half and place in glass bowl along with the mozzarella balls. Drizzle with a tablespoon or two of olive oil and then sprinkle on a generous teaspoon or two of kosher salt & fresh ground black pepper. Allow the ingredients to sit for 5 to 10 minutes.

What you are doing is helping draw the water out of the tomatoes and adding a salty brined flavor. This is what is going to make the dish out of this world! If you don’t salt & pepper the tomatoes for just 5 minutes prior to assembling, they just aren’t going to taste the same.

Using skewers, alternate adding tomatoes & mozzarella as you see fit! Add in whole leaves of basil for a great caprese salad appetizer. Or, you could chiffonade (aka…slice it pretty!) the basil and scatter on top but I think you’ll have more punch by leaving the basil leaves whole.

Next, drizzle olive oil & plenty of balsamic vinegar all over the concoction. Finally, add a generous sprinkling of kosher salt & fresh ground pepper. Make sure to sneak a taste to ensure the flavor is vibrant. If not, guess what…add more salt & pepper and another splash (or two) of balsamic vinegar!

IMG_2589Happy 4th of July!! I hope everyone has a great time celebrating, shooting off fire works, and eating plenty of sweet summertime food!

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07-01-2014

A Wake Up Call

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I’m highly embarrassed to admit but…five years ago, I sat on a berber carpeted floor discussing vacation bible school with other church volunteers and I said…well what really matters most are the snacks!

And last year…vacation bible school was about the break i’d get from my 2 kids because finally, finally my youngest could attend.

SERIOUSLY???

So it was a big wake up call when a cousin of mine posted recently on facebook that his church had 61 kids attend the past week of vbs and most importantly…1 child accepted Christ as his Savior.

Made me think, what in the h*** is wrong with me? That VBS is this thing about animal crackers or getting a break from your kids? That isn’t it, Jessica.

It’s about winning kids to Christ. It’s imparting scripture in a 6 year old so that when he gets home and mom & dad don’t get along, he reads Psalms 56: 3-4 and says a prayer to God to keep him safe and calm. It’s teaching a 9 year old that honoring Christ is being kind to that kid on the playground who doesn’t have anyone to play with.

VBS is, can be, and should be…So MUCH MORE than free baby sitting. That 1 kid that chose to believe in Christ, to have faith in God…THAT, that’s what it’s about.

Sometimes I forget that kids can grasp way more than we think they can. I think they are too young to read them scripture straight from the Word or to explain what it means to be a Christian. Sure, they’ll ask questions I don’t always know the answer to. But they will probably actually have the faith that Christ was seeking as He said, “Let the little children come to me…for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” It’s me, with my super charged adult analysis, that has a hard time grasping the concept of faith. Not the kid who says “I do believe in Christ and want HIM as my Lord, as who I follow.”

Hmmm…not even sure how to close this post…but I’m thankful, so thankful, for this realization. How often do I see Sunday school, vbs, or child care during a Bible study as just that… just child care. But it’s not just that.

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“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed, and when you are getting up.” Deut. 6: 6-7

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05-05-2014

Gourmet Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

It sure is hard being a food blogger’s kid!

I need to remind my kids constantly how lucky they are that baking and making unique eats is daily enjoyment in our house.

Yesterday we made these. If you aren’t salivating, you should be. So rich, so creamy, so delish!

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I followed the Raw Chocolate PB Cups recipe from Sarah @ The Sweet Life but did cheat and use semi-sweet chocolate chips & homemade pb. Still ooey-gooey goodness! Next time I think I’ll try sprinkling the top chocolate with a tiny pinch of sea salt prior to freezing. The contrasting taste of salt & sweet would make these sublime! (I used 1 & 1/4 cup of choc chips and was able to make 16 cups. Make sure to reserve enough chocolate for the top layer!)
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These would make a great surprise treat after school!

Enjoy ~

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