07-13-2016

Photojournal of Summer 2016: Choosing Contentment in the Messiness of Life

We’ve made it to July 13th which seems equal parts miracle “we’ve survived thus far without siblings killing one another” and equal parts “where in the world has summer gone”?

Every weekend is full of friends and family visiting or taking trips of our own and I am starting to feel like we are careening on a roller coaster that won’t slow down.

Being a girl who not only wants but truly needs a lot of margin in her life, I’m feeling a bit unraveled by all this busyness.

Despite my best intentions to fill our days with minimal cost activities and trips to the beach, we’ve actually spent most week days being very lazy at home.

Just us in our pj’s. Reading books. Getting messy with science experiments. Making lego princess castles.

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Now, don’t let me fool you that it’s all roses and peaches while we lounge around.

Our house is quite messy, sibling squabbles abound, and made beds are a thing of the past – as if they were ever even in existence in my house.

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You may look at these pictures and see joy & fulfillment or you may never see further than the dirt, grime, and mess.

How you look at my pictures – how you take in your own summer – your own spot in life right now,
it’s all in your perspective.

Isn’t that what joy and gratitude are really all about?
They are a choice you make every moment of your life.

You can focus on what you don’t have or spend your moments being thankful for what you do have.

When I can’t find contentment, I pray for God to show me what to give thanks for.  There have been days, months, years when all I saw was darkness, anxiety, and fear. All my life didn’t turn out to be.

But when I pray for an eternal perspective, when I beg on my knees for Him to show me what I do have right in front of me that I never fully appreciate…
He whispers back and nudges me to find the beauty found within the dirt, grime, and mess.

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There is beauty all around you.
I hope you find some today.

jessica

happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.
happiness is the spiritual experience of living every moment with love, grace, and gratitude.
~ spiritual gangster

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02-22-2016

The Downside of Everyday Access to God

To say that I put Ann Voskamp on a pedestal is putting it lightly.

Her words are balm to a battered soul and the poetic words found in One Thousand Gifts drastically altered how I view the good & the bad in my life.

So journey with me into my pretend world of make believe where I am spending tomorrow with author extraordinaire, Ann Voskamp. (Just keep reading – I promise I do have a point!)

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The night prior to my big day with Ann I can barely fall asleep, filled with excitement and elation at what the morrow holds. I’ve spent all day planning my wardrobe – most important, the boots I should wear because I’ve heard Ann loves boots (can you tell I obsess about her just a little?).

Bright and early the alarm rings and I feel the same as my five year old daughter on Christmas morn. The best gift ever is just around the corner and I’m on pins and needles as I wait for her to show up.

What will we talk about? Will we have anything in common? Will she be all that I imagine her to be?

Most of all I am filled with awe and wonder when I think about meeting her.

IMG_7660But when I wake from my pretend daydream I can’t shake the question…

Do I approach God’s throne with that same awe and wonder?

Has this personal relationship with Christ led me to humanize the Lord to where He is equal to common man? Is He simply my life coach and I expect Him to answer my every whim with a YES and then grumble incessantly when prayers aren’t answered the way I desire?

Do I begin the day with songs of praise and worship the grandeur that is His alone? Or do my prayers sound more like “God, if you could just…”.

Having constant {every.single.second of the day} access allows us to dumb down God and make Him far too common to humanity. As a result, I, base my perceptions of God on what He’s doing this personal moment for me instead of perceiving Him with awe & wonder that only the God of the universe is worthy of.

Whether it is a favorite musician, a famous actress, or an incredibly talented and creative chef, we put people on pedestals, viewing them through rose covered glasses. We do this so frequently, yet, we never realize how guilty we are of rarely {if ever} doing that with our God, the one who created the farthermost reaches of the cosmos down to the tiniest of microorganisms.

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God deserves our highest praise. He created a beautiful natural world when He could have chosen to make everything ugly. He condescends himself every day to have a relationship with man; knowing we can never bridge the gap and ascend out of our own efforts.

He comforts, He heals, He restores.

He is God. We are man. And He loves us.

What more reason do you need?

Praise God in his sanctuary; 
praise him in his mighty heavens!

Praise him for his mighty deeds;
praise him according to his excellent greatness!

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

jessica

 

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11-26-2015

Giving Thanks

When Ann Voskamp wrote One Thousand Gifts | A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are, she had no idea how well the timing of that book would intersect with the tragedy I was engulfed in.

Five years ago we lost a family member, a best friend, a brother to suicide.
Nothing could have prepared me for the intense grief that follows losing someone to suicide.
Nothing.

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Mired down in sadness while somehow trying to raise a baby and a toddling two year old, I’ll never forget the day my friend Lindsey suggested I read this new book she’d just finished…”Jessica, I really think this would help you process everything you’re going through.”

I am beyond thankful she gave me that suggestion, because that one book forever altered how I view life.
It altered why I give thanks in the first place.
It altered my relationship with God.

It goes deep, it challenges you.
From the first paragraph, Ann’s words grip you and forces you to question…

Do you only give thanks for the easy?
Do you solely thank God when goodness abounds and life looks perfect?

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I still wrestle with the giving thanks for tragedy. I thank God for the friends that never left our side during that period of our lives. It’s easy to thank God for getting you through a time of tough finances. But thank him for job loss? Thank him a pregnancy ended? Thank him a brother died?

Yeah, not easy, right??

But reading Ann’s prose on how God doesn’t say that every gift is wrapped up magically tight with a beautiful red ribbon..it pushes me to the boundaries of my faith and as a result my relationship with Christ grows to greater depth.

I don’t understand why God answers some prayers
but other prayers I’m left in silence
with only the call of a Whippoorwill to keep me company.

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But I do believe he’s called me to find things, IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE, to give him thanks for.

Hence, this morning I journaled #4,163 in my every growing list of things to be thankful for.

Giving thanks, every day, multiple times a day…keeping a list of gratitude…choosing to find the positive instead of getting caught up in the negative….these are the things that change your life…these are the day to day actions that pull you out of the muck & mire…

Giving thanks is a choice you make every. single. moment.
Every. Single. Day.
What will you choose?

jessica

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