11-01-2015

31 Days of Writing…I Did It!

I can’t believe it, but I wrote for 31 days straight!!

There were a few days I missed…I even skipped yesterday which should have been the easiest post ever since it was simply a wrap up. But spending time with my husband, hiking with the kids, chatting with a sister, walking with a friend…

…Real life, real relationships will always be more important to me than any blog post.

The biggest thing I learned from this challenge was I really enjoy writing.

It’s lit a fire in me to write more often and has increased my confidence in writing ‘deep’ pieces.

The challenge has encouraged me to read non fiction because I would like my blog posts to be more than just my thoughts.

And as a result of the challenge, I am beginning freelance writing!

Thank you for reading my writings and all the encouraging and supportive words you’ve shared!
I hope my blog encourages, inspires, and challenges you to be your best self.

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Filed Under: Confessions, write31days

10-30-2015

When I Want to Solve The Worlds Problems but God Wants Me To Pray About Them

This week my heart has been heavy as I’ve been studying the topic of social injustice {for me, it’s the humanitarian crisis of the refugees} and what the Bible says we are to do about it.

I guess it’s hard because as much as I get that serving those around you {your husband, your kids, your neighbors} is JUST AS IMPORTANT as serving the refugees…

I still have a tug on my heart to serve the refugees. I WANT TO DO SOMETHING.

Not just give money. Not just pray. But do something tangible.

The resounding answer though that keeps coming back time and again is PRAY.

But as a friend recently said, “I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to meditate. I don’t want patience.”

But maybe that praying part is where I am supposed to be right now.
As I study in Nehemiah, he waited. He waited for months before asking the king for help. He pondered things in his heart before attacking the problem at hand. He waited and he prayed.

Dear God,
Help me be content to meditate and consider the problems at hand. Because as I wait and ponder, I recognize that more powerful contributions are made when problems are tackled with Godly wisdom rather than mere human knowledge. And Lord, I am trusting that one day YOU WILL call me to action. You will show me the path I need to traverse. But for now, I pray that you would help me understand and discern the problem at hand. And I pray that when the time is right, when the opportunity is right in front of me, you would make me be bold to serve.

“For I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me….
As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:36&40

{Day 30 of #write31days. I can’t believe how quickly this month has gone.}

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Filed Under: Confessions, Faith, write31days Tagged With: #wewelcomerefugees

10-27-2015

Roasted Potato Salad with Balsamic Tarragon Dressing

This is the perfect side dish for a potluck meal, covered dish gathering, outdoor fall get together. It’s got the best texture and taste…crispy potatoes and bacon, velvety smooth potato interiors, and a sweet twangy dressing to finish it off!

Finding a potato salad that someone allergic to gluten and eggs can eat is not an easy feat. Plus, who doesn’t want a more healthy potato salad than the mayonnaise loaded version we normally settle for.

This potato salad is anything but settling. It is perfect!

Recipe Tips
If you have a convection oven, I recommend using that to ensure both sides are crispy. The easiest trick I’ve found for turning roasting potatoes is to use a fork. Test out one potato first. If it flips easily, without leaving half the crust on the roasting pan, then they are ready to be flipped. If it doesn’t easily turn over, put the potatoes back in the oven for another 5 minutes and try again.
If you use two roasting pans to bake these at the same time, make sure to swap out the baking sheets halfway through cooking time…i.e…your top baking sheet needs to go on the bottom rack halfway through and the bottom baking sheet needs to move to the top so it doesn’t spend all the time in the bottom of the oven which is normally hotter than near the top.

Roasted Potato Salad with Balsamic Tarragon Dressing

Potato Ingredients
4 lbs red potatoes
1 TBSP garlic powder
1 TBSP onion powder
2 TBSP paprika
2 tsp dried tarragon
2 tsp sea salt
3 TBSP olive oil
Dressing Ingredients
2 1/2 TBSP balsamic vinegar
1 1/2 TBSP olive oil
1 TBSP honey
1 TBSP dijon mustard
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp ground pepper
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp chopped fresh tarragon {sub in dried if that is all you have}
Final Ingredients
5 pieces of bacon, cooked and finely chopped
1/3 cup finely chopped scallions/green onions

Heat Oven to 450 degrees {Heat to 425 degrees if using convection}

Cut potatoes into roughly 2" chunks.

Place cut potatoes into a zipper topped bag {you may need to use 2 bags and split the ingredients in half}.

Add the spices {garlic powder through the sea salt} and the 3 TBSP olive oil. Shake well to coat the potatoes generously.

Place on a baking sheet {once again, you may need to use 2 baking sheets to get the potatoes roasted at one time}.

Bake in the preheated oven for 30-40 minutes, flipping the potatoes after an initial 20 minutes of baking. {see note above}

Once potatoes are roasted through and have a nice browning on both sides, remove from oven and place in a serving bowl along with the chopped bacon and scallions.

In a separate bowl or glass jar, whisk together the dressing ingredients until well combined.

Right before serving potato salad, pour dressing over the salad and toss well to combine.

Enjoy!

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Filed Under: Recipes, write31days Tagged With: side dishes

10-26-2015

14 Tips to Strengthen The Friendships in Your Life: Part 2

Here’s my remaining 7 tips on building solid friendships with the women in your lives…

{Yesterday’s Tips are found here, or begin with Having A Servant’s Heart in Friendship.}

#8.Offer an abundance of grace

The subject of grace within Christianity goes like this…when I don’t deserve love, God still gives it to me.

And the same goes in friendships, in marriages, in parenting. When we give grace and continue to love even if a friend isn’t calling us as much as we wish they would. Or they are being a ‘stinkerboo’ as I call my daughter at times, they still need to know we’ve got their back and are always there for them.

#9.Be the bigger person

This goes right along with offering grace. Sometimes us ladies can resort to acting like our 16 year old selves. Or maybe that’s just me! But we all benefit when our friends can turn the other cheek and just give us some space when we aren’t perfect.

#10. Be your friend’s biggest cheerleader {you know…when they get something you’ve always wanted and you’re still waiting for prayers to be answered}

I’ve always been of the philosophy that it’s the tough times that prove who your best friends are. Because, in my mind, relationships show their true foundation when your world is falling apart.

But on the flip side, incredible is the friend who can be excited for you {or at least put on a brave face} when you are unexpectedly pregnant and she’s still waiting for those double lines to appear, or you get the job promotion and she just got laid off.

I’m not talking about not being authentic. Because being authentic is extremely important {see #13}. But when we can be real in our own feelings as well as be happy for our friend’s good news, then we are living out “that it’s not all about us”.

#11. Be an exceptional listener

This is one area I struggle with. One of my ‘best’ friends is an amazing listener. She leans close to hear what I have to say, she asks pressing questions in response rather than just commiserate about a similar situation in her own life. She’s ok not having all the answers I may need and she’s fully present in our conversation.

#12. Challenge one another

The friends who challenge us are ultimately our biggest cheerleaders. They believe in our greatest potential, even when we ourselves are afraid to dream boldly. She pushes you to new heights, dares you to live big, and whispers constant encouragement that YOU CAN DO THIS!

#13. Be Authentic

If there is one thing I hope to be remembered for, it would be my authenticity. If you can’t be real with your closest friends, then who are you going to be genuine with?

Wearing a facade and pretending your world is picture perfect leaves you fatigued and feeling less than. God loves you just the way you are, messy chaos and all. We all have areas in our lives we’d like to sweep under the rug. But when we open up and share our heartaches with one another, we become relatable.

#14. Never Be Afraid to Begin New Friendships

Since not all friendships last a lifetime, it’s always important to be building new ones. Taking a walk around the block with a new neighbor. Having coffee with an acquaintance. All important steps to flourish the friendships in your life.

{Day 26!!! of the #write31days challenge. I can barely believe I only have 5 more days left!!!}

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Filed Under: Faith, Friendship, Life, write31days Tagged With: #bff, #friendship, #truefriends, #write31days

10-25-2015

14 Tips To Strengthen the Friendships in Your Life: Part 1

As I wrote about on Friday, women need relationships with one another.
But friendships don’t just magically happen.

Here’s my list of 14 “How To’s” for building and maintaining deep substantial friendships.

{To break this post into a manageable reading chunk, I’m sharing 7 of the tips today with 7 more tomorrow.}

#1. Don’t Expect One Person to Meet All Your Needs

Just as a bicycle tire would have no strength with only one spoke on the wheel, the same goes for your friendships.

Having a smattering of friend’s to call on rather than depending upon just one person, will help all your friendships be healthier. Take me for example… there’s the friend I call when I need wisdom & clarity, the foodie friend who ‘gets’ my food issues, or the one who is always the cheerleader in my back corner.

#2. It’s about quality not quantity

While our social media presence can tout that we have 432 ‘friends’ and our latest instagram photo reached 76 ‘likes’, those are usually not the friendships that are going to ‘fill our buckets’.

We need friendships that are rooted in rich fertile soil. Whether we live cross country or just down the block, these are the relationships that have stood the test of time, through the good and the bad. It doesn’t matter if that number totals 3, those are the relationships to concentrate your time on.

#3. Make friendships a priority

Friendships were a lot easier before getting married! Back then, I had all the time in the world. But when you throw a spouse plus a handful of kids into life, friendships easily take the back seat. One day your girlfriends are throwing you a baby shower and the next day you realize you haven’t truly caught up with those same girlfriends for months.

Making friendships a priority takes the sacrifice of your time; but is a sacrifice well worth it. In order to build those deep quality relationships you want, you have to step away from the screen and step into face to face communion with one another.

#4. Reach out in unexpected ways

I’ll never forget a few years ago when our whole family was sick {at both ends} for more than a week. Then the “stomach bug” as we politely call it, stopped up the toilet!! You know you have a friend for life when she brings you a new plunger!

Whether it’s a meal, a hug, or a plunger….always be willing to go out of your way to help a friend in need.

#5. The world doesn’t revolve around you

I was once lamenting about an extremely trivial situation to my older sister and she shared very wise advice {that I’m embarrassed to admit I really needed to hear}…Jessica, the world does not revolve around you!

But gosh, don’t we act like it? At least I do. It is easy to feel slighted when you see a FB photo of girlfriends that doesn’t include you or when someone hasn’t returned a phone call. But sometimes, your friend has real junk going on in their lives and they simply need you to… be the bigger person, reach out to them or just give them some grace.

#6. Say Thank You

All relationships {marriages included} can benefit from a sincere “thanks for all you do”. Just as our spouses need to be appreciated, our friends need the same.

7. Some friendships are only in your life for a season

It can be a sad reality, but not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime.

Some friendships are toxic and just aren’t healthy. Then there are some friendships that diminish in closeness due to a change in locations or simply due to becoming different people as you go through life, and that is ok!
With that said, every friendship changes as time passes. Even lifelong friendships go through periods when you aren’t as close and that is normal.

Click here to read tips #8-#14 on building strong friendships.

{These friendship tips are all part of my 31 Days to A Servant’s Heart writing challenge.}

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Filed Under: Confessions, Life, write31days Tagged With: #friendsforlife, #friendship

10-23-2015

A Servant’s Heart in Friendship

A wise sage friend once told me, true lasting friendship consists of an ebb and flow.
Sometimes you give more than you get.
Sometimes you are in the seat of taking more than you can provide.
But in the tidal flow of life, it all equals out.

A servant’s heart in friendship doesn’t keep track of whose called whom the most.
Instead, we savor the blessing of this thing we share.
This friendship that is our ‘walking diary’, our support system when the rest of the world fails us.

For women, our friendships are what keep us sane. What keep us whole.

My Grandma lost her husband when she was 37. She never remarried, raising 4 young kids and running a dairy farm solo. As I watched her spend countless hours on the phone with Mrs. Bristol, one of her closest friends, I wondered if perhaps women’s friendships aren’t one of the most important building blocks in a woman’s life?

Whether from divorce or widowhood, marriage isn’t necessarily the longest relationship you will have in life.

If that’s the case, shouldn’t we all strive to strengthen and deepen the friendships we share ‘woman to woman’?

In the days following my brother in law’s suicide, I’m not sure what I would have done without my closest girl friends. From dropping everything going on in their lives to be with me, giving me advice as the estate dragged on for forever, bringing me meal after meal, answering my phone calls even though they had to know I was going to have an endless pity party of what my life looked like.

Friends are what get you through the roughest days. Friends are what keep you rationale and help you process the muddled understandings in your brain. Friends are your biggest cheerleaders with never ending whispers of encouragement…

Want to read more on this topic…read my 14 Tips To Building Strong Friendships.

{Today’s post is day 23 of the #write31days challenge! Click here to view all my post in the series titled 31 Days to A Servant’s Heart.}

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Filed Under: Life, write31days Tagged With: #friendship, marriage

10-22-2015

Confession of a People Pleasing Lady

{Whew…I’m getting pretty humble up in here today…sharing my flaws with ya’ll.}

I wish it weren’t so, but sometimes when I serve others, I consider how great it’s going to make me look.

It’s not intentional, I never consciously aim to do that.

But a few years ago, upon some deep reflection, I realized I often want people to know all the ways I serve others.

Yeah, that’s me… this approval seeking, people pleasing lady.

Blame it on the middle child syndrome, but all I want is for other people to like me.

And you know what, they probably do already…so why am I going out of my way to blatantly seek it?
And if they don’t, then who cares???

I remember Anah who sat beside me for years.
Us young twenty year olds, crammed into a much too small cubicle, making way too many cold calls.

One day she shared how each evening she made her husband an amazing sandwich when he got off work.
The sandwich sounded like a creation worthy of Dagworth’s fame in Blondie.

The awe inspiring part of her story was that Anah made the sandwich as an act of true love.

You could just tell. It wasn’t for her husband’s praise. She didn’t tell me so I would think she was a great wife.

We just happened to be talking about her husband having to work late and as a consequence he didn’t really eat dinner. Thus, she made him something really special every evening. I’ll never forget the smile on her face when she talked about making it. She delighted in doing such a mundane task and filling that work with an abundance of joy.

Her serving was simply an outpouring of the love she had towards her husband.

When we serve others with a gracious heart we aren’t focused on the accolades or the recognition. I’m reminded in Anah’s story that a serving heart is most often found in the mundane, in the small tasks we do every single day that never receive a thank you or praise.

And I pray, that as I grow older and wiser, my heart will be more content to serve without being seen.

{Day 22 of the #write31days challenge. I’m writing all about A Servant’s Heart, the series list can be found here.}

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Filed Under: Family, Life, marriage, write31days Tagged With: #aservantsheart, #truesacrifice

10-20-2015

Cooking Tip #2: How to Easily Cut Open a Winter Squash

I’ll never forget the first Thanksgiving meal we hosted at our house. Newly married and ferociously excited to entertain, I encountered a problem of epic proportions.

No, it wasn’t the stress of a turkey taking an hour and a half longer than planned, to cook in that deep fryer vat of oil. And it wasn’t worrying over in-laws and parents spending time together.

No, my biggest worry was how to cut open a rutabaga without losing a thumb or slicing my wrist artery. Winter squash are one of the hardest things to cut open without damaging yourself in the process.

I survived the experience without a trip to the ER and have since perfected the method.

All you need is a crinkle cutter {they can be found for less than $10} and a meat tenderizer mallet.

It’s so safe, you can actually let your children help.
Which I would never recommend if you are cutting winter squash the old fashioned way.

You’ll basically hammer the mallet on top of the crinkle cutter, so choose a cutter that can withstand a lot of pounding. Mine is from Pampered Chef {remember all those PC parties you attended back in the early 2000’s?} and even with a plastic handle – it has held up well.

Position the cutter on the side/middle of the squash and wedge in as much as you can. Then start whacking the top of the cutter with your meat mallet. The cutter will slowly begin to edge through the squash.

The more dense the squash, the more pounding that is required. So a spaghetti squash isn’t as hard to cut through as a rutabaga. Once the squash is cut in half, you can more easily peel the squash and then begin cutting {with a real butcher’s knife} into the desired size.

You can even use this method to cut the top off of pumpkins!

I hope this tip helps save your thumbs this fall & winter season!

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Filed Under: Gardening, Recipes, write31days Tagged With: #cookingtips, #write31days, foodie

10-19-2015

Spewing Evil – The treacherous game of criticism in marriage

There are numerous qualities that I think comprise a servant’s heart…

Trusts the good intentions of another…
Serves without seeking praise…
Doesn’t keep a list of whose done more…
Lets go of resentments…
Seeks other’s comfort first…
Does not criticize…

When you pledge your life to another, do you think it’s going to be a bed of roses?

Well, as Gran informed me on my wedding day…

Wedding day bliss cannot be contained but as time rolls into years and years into decades, this person we’ve promised to serve and encourage begins to dim a bit in our eyes. Eventually, we find ourselves compiling lists of their flaws, of all the things we just KNOW they need to change.

At least that is what happened to me.

But what has taken me a decade long of learning to realize, is that no amount of criticism makes any situation better.

Criticism wears a person down.
Criticism weakens my marriage.
Criticism breaks the threads of friendship we share.

While we all have areas in our life we need to improve, is criticism the best way to go about it?

Is a loving, kind, constructive word not always more readily heard than a word meant to destroy and destruct?

Perhaps I should be focused on improving myself rather than my husband.

Jesus knew what He was talking about when he spoke of how people judge the specks in other’s rather than focus on the log’s in their own lives.

It is infinitely easier to focus on a spouse’s ‘wrongs’ and ignore my own.
Because if I focus on my own shortcomings then I actually have to work on me, be disciplined, have self control.
{All areas I sorely lack in.}

I can criticize, rant, and harp all day long.

But hold my tongue in a bout of anger?
Stay silent when I’m bursting with evil words?
Put a smile on my face and instead give LOVE abundently?

Those actions take work and seem insurmountable.

Christ reminds me though that the work is not for me to accomplish alone.
God wants me to depend on Him for the changes I long for.

As I lean on God to sculpt my heart with gratitude and grace, I strengthen my relationship with Him.
When I remember it is not my job as a spouse to change and fix my partner, then my marriage grows stronger.

Christ, would you show us today all the wonderful ways our spouse loves us.
Give us eyes that see all their fantastic attributes.
Help us appreciate all they do as a parent, friend, and spouse.

{Written as part of my 31 Days to a Servant’s Heart series. Click here to see all post within this series.}

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Filed Under: Confessions, Faith, marriage, write31days Tagged With: #truelove, #write31days, marriage

10-18-2015

3 Things You May Not Know About Me

What I’ve learned during my attempt to write 31 days in a row.

#1. I am a perfectionist
Granted, I had come to that forgone conclusion a number of years ago. However, I am reminded daily during this October challenge that if the post isn’t my best work, it is still ok to click publish. The difficulty of writing
every.single.day
means that a few of the blog post may be really good and some may be ok but many might fall quite short of perfect. So I’m slowly accepting that perfectionism is overrated!

#2. I love taking & sharing photos of my families life
Real life is messy, it’s chaotic, and I feel most free to be me when I am with my family. So whether it’s making mudpies, wading through the marsh to find a creek brimming with blue crabs, or playing on abandoned catamarans…being outside in nature is where I am happiest. And I hope that by viewing the photographs I share of my family, you are encouraged to spend more time with your children, family, and friends in this great big world we’ve been blessed to inhabit. {It also doesn’t hurt that when I’m feeling less than thrilled to write, my readers {you amazing person that you are for reading my blog} still seem to enjoy my photos. So thank you!}

#3. My best writing is completed in the morning
We all have a time of day when our productivity peaks and then quickly descends into “let’s just put that off for a few more hours because I really need to do something else drastically important…like call someone??” If I don’t click publish prior to 10 o’clock in the morning, you will find me on the wheel of procrastinating by calling a sister, a friend, really anyone who will pick up the phone and just let me talk about absolutely nothing so I can escape from the task at hand.

So here we are…it’s 9:42pm, I have yet to write anything about a servant’s heart, but I do have some photos I could share!!! And I have laryngitis so unfortunately I can’t call anyone to help me in my procrastination.

Enjoy the photos! And thank you so much for taking time to read my blog.